And I remember when I met him, it was so clear that he was the only one for me. We both knew it, right away. And as the years went on, things got more difficult – we were faced with more challenges. I begged him to stay. Try to remember what we had at the beginning.
He was charismatic, magnetic, electric and everybody knew it. When he walked in every woman’s head turned, everyone stood up to talk to him. He was like this hybrid, this mix of a man who couldn’t contain himself. I always got the sense that he became torn between being a good person and missing out on all of the opportunities that life could offer a man as magnificent as him. And in that way, I understood him and I loved him.
I loved him, I loved him, I loved him.
And I still love him. I love him.”
-Lana Del Rey.
“Yet you still value the things you’ve lost the most. Because the things you’ve lost are still perfect in your head. They never rusted. They never broke. They are made of the memories you once had, which only grow rosier and brighter, day by day. They are made of the dreams of how wonderful things could have been and must never suffer the indignity of actually still existing. Of being real. Of having flaws. Of breaking and deteriorating. Only the things you no longer have will always be perfect.”
I’m sorry that you’re hurting so desperately right now. I know how painful the seconds, and minutes, and days can be, how long the nights are. I understand how very hard hanging on is, and how much courage it takes.
I ask though that you hold onto one day at a time. Just one day, and slowly this despair will pass. The feelings you fear you’re trapped in will serve their purpose, and then fade away. Difficult to imagine isn’t it? Almost impossible to believe when every cell in your body it seems cries out in agony, desperately in need of comfort. When it feels like the only thing in the whole world that can touch your pain and banish it is beyond your grasp. And after all this time, the assurance that you will heal has become an empty, broken promise.
Hold on because it’s worth the terrible waiting. Hold on because you are worthy. Hold on because the wisdom that will follow you out of this darkness will be a tremendous gift. Hold on because you have so much love and joy waiting to be experienced. Hold on because life is precious, even though it can bring terrible losses. Hold on because there is so much that you can’t now imagine waiting ahead on your journey – a destiny that only you can fulfill. Hold on although your exhausted and your grasp is shaky, and you want more than anything to let go sometimes, hold on even though. Please hold on.
And the light, the light at the end of the dark tunnel for so long cannot be seen, although eventually you’ll begin to feel its’ warmth as you move forward. And forward you must move in order to get through the hell of remembering, of despair, of rage, of grief. Keep looking forward please. Rest if you must, doubt your ability to survive the journey if you have to, but never let go of the guide ropes, although when you close your fingers around them, your hands feel empty, they are there. Please trust me, they are there.
When you’re exhausted, when all you have to count on is a weakened, weary faith, hold on. When you think you want to die, hold on until you recognize that it’s not death you seek, but for the pain to go away. Hold on, because this darkness will surely fade away. Hold on. Please hold on
She’s the girl that believes that what comes around goes around. The one that hopes for a better day. The one that won’t give up on you. She’s the girl that’s unlike the rest. The one that spent her days smiling, and her nights crying. She’s the girl that would love to be loved. The one that looks so damn strong, but feels so weak. She’s the girl that picks herself up every time she falls. And she’ll be okay. She really will. She’s tough…and She deserve to be happy.
I know you miss him and I know you think you cant be without him. I know he told you he loved you and I know he said he’d never leave. I know although you knew you shouldn’t have believed that, you did and I know you want him more than anything. I know you spend extra time doing your hair perfect just in case he looks your way and I know secretly, you want to bump into him anywhere you go. I know you get that feeling when you walk past him and I know you just want him to look your way. I know he called you his number one and I know he told you he loved you at the end of each of his texts. I know he told you that you was his world and I know he made you happy. I know you re-read the saved texts from him that you should have deleted ages ago and I know you can’t figure out whats making you still like him so much even after he’s caused you so much pain. I know you still get that tingle feeling if he’s looking your way and I know that the whole day you’ll be analyzing what that look meant. I know that you know that he used you and I know you always forgave him for all his faults no matter what. I know you smile bigger, talk louder and laugh more when you see him anywhere near and I know that’s because you just want him to notice you again. I know you compare every guy to him and I know you’d do anything to prove your love for him. I know you take out his mistakes out on everyone but him and I know you don’t mean to. I know you think you won’t care for anyone as much as you care for him. I know you get that feeling every time you get a text, just because of the slight chance it might be him and I know anyone can see the hurt in your eye’s when you find out it isn’t. I know he doesn’t miss you and I know he doesn’t look at you twice. I know that if he does catch your eye it’s because your staring at him and he’s just looking around. I know your texts to him were deleted a long time ago. I know for a fact that he doesn’t compare her to you. I know he doesn’t have feelings for you anymore and I know he just doesn’t care. I know he doesn’t love you anymore. he never did. trust me.
Well, this is it. The so far “best years of my life” are drawing to an end, and I’m looking forward to begin a new chapter in my life. Soon I will have to say goodbye to all of the familiar faces and places that I’ve known for the past 17 years, and then look forward to what new adventures are in store for me. This isn’t a movie or a dream where the students are throwing their caps in the air at graduation; it’s reality with a bittersweet conclusion.
It won’t hit you when you wake up for your last first day of school. It won’t hit you as you walk into the school for the first time as an official senior. It won’t hit you when you are playing your last football games in the school playground. It won’t hit you as you fill out the countless college applications. It won’t hit you as you are sitting with the friends you have known since childhood laughing about those stupid things.
When May is about to come and you realize that it is your last week in school, the only place you’ve known your whole life, but you don’t really feel it when you are there having the time of your life. You begin to realize it at Graduation when you look around and realize that you will never see half of these people again. You will begin to see it more over the Summer but it still hasn’t fully hit you yet. It will finally hit you when you are going to school for the very last time to take your certificates for the past 17 years of your life after your acceptance letter came from college.
Everyone can say that they hate school but when it comes to your senior year you’ll regret ever feeling that way. So an advise from a senior year girl, school days will be gone in a blink of an eye. So yeah, take advantage because they’re irreplaceable.
And for me? I am looking forward to my graduation day where I get to stand proudly in front of my parents and best friends. Once we move our tassels from the right to the left and throw our caps in the air, we will take some of our first footsteps into adulthood. So, maybe “the best years of our lives” are over, but the first days of the rest of our lives are just beginning. Maybe the best is yet to come.
NBIS 13 SENIORS; This class will forever be known as the class who brought the spirit back.
HIM? The only person who will ever receive all of you, a piece of you forever remains left behind in his heart – a piece no future lover could ever get. That piece holds innocence – the belief that love really can last forever. It holds friendship and pain, trial and error. It holds everything you thought love would be. Everything that was proven wrong. I know exactly how you feel, but if he really cared about you, he would have stayed and would have kept all his promises. There are better guys out there who will put that real smile on your face, but first you have to let him go. I know it’s hard, I’m still trying. But you’re worth more than that. Girl, you should be thankful for him, as he came into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, his purpose was to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life.
You know what your problem is? You get attached, fast. And once you’re attached to someone, you do everything you can to please him and make him happy. It’s never been about what you want; it’s always his needs before your own. You gave him too many chances, though he didn’t deserve them. He took advantage of you, and you became a pushover. But you were okay with that, because he was still there in your life and that’s all you ever really wanted. And even when he screwed you over, you were always there for him. Because that’s you, that’s who you are. Once you get attached to someone, they capture your heart and they always have a place there. And that is why it’s so hard for you to let go.
But life isn’t as the fairy tales you used to read when you were a little girl because in fairy tales you meet Prince Charming and he’s everything you ever wanted, in fairy tales the bad guy is very easy to spot, the bad guy is always wearing a black cape so you always know who he is. But here, in real life, Prince Charming is not as easy to find as you thought and the bad guy is not wearing a black cape and he’s not easy to spot; he’s really funny, and he makes you laugh, and he has perfect hair.
Always remember that; In FAIRY TALES when they say ”And they lived happily ever after’‘ they have never explained whether it was together or apart.