And I remember when I met him, it was so clear that he was the only one for me. We both knew it, right away. And as the years went on, things got more difficult – we were faced with more challenges. I begged him to stay. Try to remember what we had at the beginning.

He was charismatic, magnetic, electric and everybody knew it. When he walked in every woman’s head turned, everyone stood up to talk to him. He was like this hybrid, this mix of a man who couldn’t contain himself. I always got the sense that he became torn between being a good person and missing out on all of the opportunities that life could offer a man as magnificent as him. And in that way, I understood him and I loved him.

I loved him, I loved him, I loved him.

And I still love him. I love him.”
-Lana Del Rey.

“Yet you still value the things you’ve lost the most. Because the things you’ve lost are still perfect in your head. They never rusted. They never broke. They are made of the memories you once had, which only grow rosier and brighter, day by day. They are made of the dreams of how wonderful things could have been and must never suffer the indignity of actually still existing. Of being real. Of having flaws. Of breaking and deteriorating. Only the things you no longer have will always be perfect.”

When you feel like you can’t go on.

I’m sorry that you’re hurting so desperately right now. I know how painful the seconds, and minutes, and days can be, how long the nights are. I understand how very hard hanging on is, and how much courage it takes.

I ask though that you hold onto one day at a time. Just one day, and slowly this despair will pass. The feelings you fear you’re trapped in will serve their purpose, and then fade away. Difficult to imagine isn’t it? Almost impossible to believe when every cell in your body it seems cries out in agony, desperately in need of comfort. When it feels like the only thing in the whole world that can touch your pain and banish it is beyond your grasp. And after all this time, the assurance that you will heal has become an empty, broken promise.

Hold on because it’s worth the terrible waiting. Hold on because you are worthy. Hold on because the wisdom that will follow you out of this darkness will be a tremendous gift. Hold on because you have so much love and joy waiting to be experienced. Hold on because life is precious, even though it can bring terrible losses. Hold on because there is so much that you can’t now imagine waiting ahead on your journey – a destiny that only you can fulfill. Hold on although your exhausted and your grasp is shaky, and you want more than anything to let go sometimes, hold on even though. Please hold on.

And the light, the light at the end of the dark tunnel for so long cannot be seen, although eventually you’ll begin to feel its’ warmth as you move forward. And forward you must move in order to get through the hell of remembering, of despair, of rage, of grief. Keep looking forward please. Rest if you must, doubt your ability to survive the journey if you have to, but never let go of the guide ropes, although when you close your fingers around them, your hands feel empty, they are there. Please trust me, they are there.

When you’re exhausted, when all you have to count on is a weakened, weary faith, hold on. When you think you want to die, hold on until you recognize that it’s not death you seek, but for the pain to go away. Hold on, because this darkness will surely fade away. Hold on. Please hold on

She’s the girl that believes that what comes around goes around. The one that hopes for a better day. The one that won’t give up on you. She’s the girl that’s unlike the rest. The one that spent her days smiling, and her nights crying. She’s the girl that would love to be loved. The one that looks so damn strong, but feels so weak. She’s the girl that picks herself up every time she falls.  And she’ll be okay. She really will. She’s tough…and She deserve to be happy.

I know you miss him and I know you think you cant be without him. I know he told you he loved you and I know he said he’d never leave. I know although you knew you shouldn’t have believed that, you did and I know you want him more than anything. I know you spend extra time doing your hair perfect just in case he looks your way and I know secretly, you want to bump into him anywhere you go. I know you get that feeling when you walk past him and I know you just want him to look your way. I know he called you his number one and I know he told you he loved you at the end of each of his texts. I know he told you that you was his world and I know he made you happy. I know you re-read the saved texts from him that you should have deleted ages ago and I know you can’t figure out whats making you still like him so much even after he’s caused you so much pain. I know you still get that tingle feeling if he’s looking your way and I know that the whole day you’ll be analyzing what that look meant. I know that you know that he used you and I know you always forgave him for all his faults no matter what. I know you smile bigger, talk louder and laugh more when you see him anywhere near and I know that’s because you just want him to notice you again. I know you compare every guy to him and I know you’d do anything to prove your love for him. I know you take out his mistakes out on everyone but him and I know you don’t mean to. I know you think you won’t care for anyone as much as you care for him. I know you get that feeling every time you get a text, just because of the slight chance it might be him and I know anyone can see the hurt in your eye’s when you find out it isn’t. I know he doesn’t miss you and I know he doesn’t look at you twice. I know that if he does catch your eye it’s because your staring at him and he’s just looking around. I know your texts to him were deleted a long time ago. I know for a fact that he doesn’t compare her to you. I know he doesn’t have feelings for you anymore and I know he just doesn’t care. I know he doesn’t love you anymore. he never did. trust me.

 

SENIOR YEAR IS UNLIKE ANY OTHER

Well, this is it. The so far “best years of my life” are drawing to an end, and I’m looking forward to begin a new chapter in my life. Soon I will have to say goodbye to all of the familiar faces and places that I’ve known for the past 17 years, and then look forward to what new adventures are in store for me. This isn’t a movie or a dream where the students are throwing their caps in the air at graduation; it’s reality with a bittersweet conclusion.

It won’t hit you when you wake up for your last first day of school. It won’t hit you as you walk into the school for the first time as an official senior. It won’t hit you when you are playing your last football games in the school playground. It won’t hit you as you fill out the countless college applications. It won’t hit you as you are sitting with the friends you have known since childhood laughing about those stupid things.
When May is about to come and you realize that it is your last week in school, the only place you’ve known your whole life, but you don’t really feel it when you are there having the time of your life. You begin to realize it at Graduation when you look around and realize that you will never see half of these people again. You will begin to see it more over the Summer but it still hasn’t fully hit you yet. It will finally hit you when you are going to school for the very last time to take your certificates for the past 17 years of your life after your acceptance letter came from college.

Everyone can say that they hate school but when it comes to your senior year you’ll regret ever feeling that way.  So an advise from a senior year girl, school days will be gone in a blink of an eye. So yeah, take advantage because they’re irreplaceable.
And for me? I am looking forward to my graduation day where I get to stand proudly in front of my parents and best friends. Once we move our tassels from the right to the left and throw our caps in the air, we will take some of our first footsteps into adulthood. So, maybe “the best years of our lives” are over, but the first days of the rest of our lives are just beginning. Maybe the best is yet to come.

NBIS 13 SENIORS; This class will forever be known as the class who brought the spirit back. 

 

Always remember that; In FAIRY TALES when they say ”And they lived happily ever after’‘ they have never explained whether it was together or apart.

HIM? The only person who will ever receive all of you, a piece of you forever remains left behind in his heart – a piece no future lover could ever get. That piece holds innocence – the belief that love really can last forever. It holds friendship and pain, trial and error. It holds everything you thought love would be. Everything that was proven wrong. I know exactly how you feel, but if he really cared about you, he would have stayed and would have kept all his promises. There are better guys out there who will put that real smile on your face, but first you have to let him go. I know it’s hard, I’m still trying. But you’re worth more than that. Girl, you should be thankful for him, as he came into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, his purpose was to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life.

You know what your problem is? You get attached, fast. And once you’re attached to someone, you do everything you can to please him and make him happy. It’s never been about what you want; it’s always his needs before your own. You gave him too many chances, though he didn’t deserve them. He took advantage of you, and you became a pushover. But you were okay with that, because he was still there in your life and that’s all you ever really wanted. And even when he screwed you over, you were always there for him. Because that’s you, that’s who you are. Once you get attached to someone, they capture your heart and they always have a place there. And that is why it’s so hard for you to let go.

But life isn’t as the fairy tales you used to read when you were a little girl because in fairy tales you meet Prince Charming and he’s everything you ever wanted, in fairy tales the bad guy is very easy to spot, the bad guy is always wearing a black cape so you always know who he is. But here, in real life, Prince Charming is not as easy to find as you thought and the bad guy is not wearing a black cape and he’s not easy to spot; he’s really funny, and he makes you laugh, and he has perfect hair.

It’s okay. It’s okay to want someone you can’t have. It’s okay to want something more. It’s okay to cry when you’re hurt, and it’s okay to stay mad at someone who hurt you. Believe it or not, it’s always going to be okay. That’s just how it works. Sometimes things don’t work out how you want them to, and most of the time, it seems like they never will. But eventually, everything is going to iron out some way or another. You just have to believe, keep your faith, and move on.

Your life has a purpose and a meaning; You are not here just to fill space or to be a background character in someone else’s movie.Consider this: nothing would be the same if you did not exist. Every place you have ever been and everyone you have ever spoken to would be different without you.We are all connected, and we are all affected by the decisions and even the existence of those around us. So when you are having a bad day, hold your hand over your heart, feel that, that beating? that’s called PURPOSE. You’re alive for a reason, Don’t give up.

ME? I’ve been to hell and back. I spill shit, trip, and embarrass myself. I can’t just flutter my eyes and get that boy. My life is messed up. I’ve been through more shit than you see on TV. Nobody’s perfect. I’ve been lied to, cheated on, and had my heart stolen. I’ve fucked up, fucked people up, and been fucked up. But everything was worth it because I felt it. I knew it was real. Life is real, I live it wrong sometimes but do I regret one thing? Never. Because at one point, what I did was what I wanted and I got my fucking satisfaction. My life is mine and no stupid bitch or immature boy can fuck it up for me anymore. I’m the real deal and I’d love to see you try and break me.

You’re still young. Don’t make your life miserable by thinking about problems. Instead, always think that in every problem there’s a solution and everything will be okay. Do what you think is right. Take risks, try new things, laugh and live as if there’s no tomorrow, for the next years of your life you’ll have no choice but to be more responsible.

Wanna kill yourself? Imagine this. You come home from school one day. You’ve had yet another horrible day. You’re just ready to give up. So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you’ve written and rewritten over and over and over You take out those razor blades, and cut for the very last time. You grab that bottle of pills and take them all. Laying down, holding the letter to your chest, you close your eyes for the very last time.

A few hours later, your little brother knocks on your door to come tell you dinners ready. You don’t answer, so he walks in. All he sees is you laying on your bed, so he thinks you’re asleep. He tells your mom this. Your mom goes to your room to wake you up. She notices something is odd. She grabs the paper in your hand and reads it. Sobbing, she tries to wake you up. She’s screaming your name. Your brother, so confused, runs to go tell Dad that “Mommy is crying and sissy won’t wake up.” Your dad runs to your room. He looks at your mom, crying, holding the letter to her chest, sitting next to your lifeless body. It hits him, what’s going on, and he screams. He screams and throws something at the wall. And then, falling to his knees, he starts to cry. Your mom crawls over to him, and they sit there, holding each other, crying.

The next day at school, there’s an announcement. The principal tells everyone about your suicide. It takes a few seconds for it to sink in, and once it does, everyone goes silent. Everyone blames themselves. Your teachers think they were too hard on you. Those mean popular girls, they think of all the things they’ve said to you. That boy that used to tease you and call you names, he can’t help but hate himself for never telling you how beautiful you really are. Your ex boyfriend, the one that you told everything to, that broke up with you.. He can’t handle it. He breaks down and starts crying, and runs out of the school. Your friends? They’re sobbing too, wondering how they could never see that anything was wrong, wishing they could have helped you before it was too late. And your best friend? She’s in shock. She can’t believe it. She knew what you were going through, but she never thought it would get that bad… Bad enough for you to end it. She can’t cry, she can’t feel anything. She stands up, walks out of the classroom, and just sinks to the floor. Shaking, screaming, but no tears coming out.

It’s a few days later, at your funeral. The whole town came. Everyone knew you, that girl with the bright smile and bubbly personality. The one that was always there for them, the shoulder to cry on. Lots of people talk about all the good memories they had with you, there were a lot. Everyone’s crying, your little brother still doesn’t know you killed yourself, he’s too young. Your parents just said you died. It hurts him, a lot. You were his big sister, you were supposed to always be there for him. Your best friend, she stays strong through the entire service, but as soon as they start lowering your casket into the ground, she just loses it. She cries and cries and doesn’t stop for days.
It’s two years later. The whole school talks to a counselor/therapist at least once a week. Your teachers all quit their job. Those mean girls have eating disorders now. That boy that used to tease you cuts himself. Your ex boyfriend doesn’t know how to love anymore and just sleeps around with girls. Your friends all go into depression. Your best friend? She tried to kill herself. She didn’t succeed like you did, but she tried…your brother? He finally found out the truth about your death. He self harms, he cries at night, he does exactly what you did for years leading up to your suicide. Your parents? Their marriage fell apart. Your dad became a workaholic to distract himself from your death. Your mom got diagnosed with depression and just lays in bed all day.

PEOPLE CARE. You may not think so, but they do. Your choices don’t just effect you. They effect everyone. Don’t end your life, you have so much to live for. Things can’t get better if you give up.

You think about when will your turn come? how are you going to die? Death became everything you think about? will i die today? Tomorrow? maybe even after an hour you won’t be here you won’t be in this world. Are you ready yet? will you end up in heaven? are you good enough for it? You started all that because death took a special person away? it hurts I know that it does.

Your tears will fall down, happiness will fade away, your eyes become blurry, Suddenly you can’t see, you sit and question yourself, Why couldn’t it be me? Your knees hit the floor, you feel like you can’t, go on anymore.You say goodbye cause you won’t have the chance to see them again, you remember the good times, the days they were beside you you can’t believe that this is real, you think that it’s just a NIGHTMARE. Yes their body may be gone, but they left their soul behind, they never really left you, they’re still with you, AND they WILL never really leave you, they are always there, to stop you from falling apart, they will always be there.

You think god hates you cause he took away someone that close to you, maybe it’s to alarm you, maybe it was their message in life that god chose them for, for you to be a better person. So when death takes your special person give yourself some time to think and start a new life a new GOOD one before it’s too late.